Valerie Bertinelli reveals why she felt 'a lot of shame' in her past 2 relationships
Valerie Bertinelli reveals why she felt 'a lot of shame' in her past 2 relationships
Emlyn TravisThu, May 14, 2026 at 3:20 PM UTC
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Valerie Bertinelli in April 2026
Credit: Michael Tullberg/GettyKey Points
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Valerie Bertinelli is looking back at her two most recent relationships.
The One Day at a Time alum admitted that she feels "a lot of shame" for the way she allowed her partners to treat her at the time.
Bertinelli was last publicly linked to her second ex-husband, Tom Vitale, and her ex-boyfriend Mike Goodnough.
Valerie Bertinelli wishes she’d handled her last two relationships differently.
The Getting Naked author recently opened up about the “shame” that she continues to feel for the way that she allowed herself to be treated during the respective romances. While Bertinelli did not identify her past partners, the lifestyle and culinary expert was most recently linked to ex-husband Tony Vitale and ex Mike Goodnough. She was also married to her first husband, legendary rocker Eddie Van Halen, from 1981 until 2007.
“I can go back to my very first marriage and I understand the painful parts of it, but none of the pain was ever what I experienced in the last two goes at love that I had,” Bertinelli explained in an interview for the Dr. Ramani Network.
Bertinelli and ex Mike Goodnough
Credit: Rodin Eckenroth/Getty
She continued, “I feel a lot of shame for allowing myself to be treated the way I was treated. A lot of shame.”
When Dr. Ramani pushed back on the assertion that Bertinelli allowed herself to be treated negatively, the Drew Barrymore Show expert pointed out that she played a role in the dynamic, too.
“I know I'm emotionally intelligent. And I know that if I said, ‘Hey, uh uh, don't speak to me’ — which I've said! — ‘Don't speak to me that way.’ But then I just allow it anyway,” she said. “So it's at a certain point, it has to be my responsibility to say, ‘I’ve had enough. I'm walking away.’”
In response, Ramani noted that Bertinelli likely accepted these types of negative behaviors because she would’ve received “even harder pushback” from her partners if she hadn’t. “Yes, and that will happen, and that's where my whole responsibility is to not engage again, which I finally did,” Bertinelli said. “But it's hard not to engage when they're constantly dragging your name through the mud.”
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Bertinelli was married to Vitale, a financial planner, from 2011 until 2022. She reflected on how her childhood led her to the “toxic” and “horrible” marriage on a 2024 episode of The Drew Barrymore Show.
"I can't just blame my ex-husband for a toxic, horrible marriage," Bertinelli said at the time. "It's not his fault. What led me to that? Oh, childhood! That's the stuff I got to start working on.”
She added, “I’ve found that when my gratitude is really placed in even the challenging, hard times, that's when the growth really happens."
Bertinelli went on to date Goodnough for 10 months in 2024. She told PEOPLE in March that she learned a lot about herself from their romance.
“Here’s the thing about big loud mistakes, I was given the opportunity to learn a really deep life-changing lesson, and that is what I’m grateful for,” she said at the time. “Oh god, did I learn a lot. And if I ever start dating again, I ain’t talking about it for a long time. I got to see if it works out first.”
For now, though, she’s happy being single and puurrrfeectly content to spend time with a very special someone already in her life: her cat, Batman. “I sleep with a black cat. That tells you everything you about me,” she told Pause Rewind at a recent red carpet event. “And I love that furry little 11 pounds.”
on Entertainment Weekly
Source: “AOL Entertainment”
