When Saving Becomes An Obsession, Small Purchases Feel Like A Personal Failure. 'It's Hurting To Spend $20 On Myself'
- - When Saving Becomes An Obsession, Small Purchases Feel Like A Personal Failure. 'It's Hurting To Spend $20 On Myself'
Adrian VolenikJanuary 20, 2026 at 5:01 AM
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After years of disciplined budgeting and smart financial moves, one Redditor found themselves frozen at the thought of spending just $20 on a small tool. “I can’t stop myself from chasing the next mundane goal,” they wrote. “And it’s hurting to spend $20 on myself for a new keychain tool.”
Extreme Frugality Can Turn Into Guilt
After they asked whether they’re “too addicted to saving money,” the post quickly struck a chord with others who admitted to similar feelings. Many said they'd built up strong savings, maxed out retirement accounts and had sizable emergency funds, yet even minor personal purchases triggered anxiety.
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“You’ve basically programmed yourself to get dopamine hits from watching numbers go up instead of buying stuff,” one person commented. “Which honestly isn’t the worst problem to have, but yeah, it can get weird when you’re stressed about a $20 purchase.”
Others described how saving became an identity, and anything that disrupted that mindset felt wasteful. “I used to just see my money as a pile that I didn’t want to spend from,” one commenter admitted. Another said they agonized for hours over a small kitchen purchase despite having seven figures in net worth.
For many, the fear wasn't rooted in financial necessity but in mindset. One commenter described being so focused on saving that they checked their investment accounts multiple times a day, often every 20 to 30 minutes.
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When Frugal Becomes Harmful
One of the biggest takeaways from the thread was how much people need to find a healthy middle ground. Several people shared personal stories about friends or family members who delayed enjoyment, only to later regret it. “A coworker of over 16 years suddenly passed away a few weeks ago,” one wrote. If they were penny pinching and not spending anything, I would dare to say it was almost a wasted life.”
Others reflected on health scares or losses that changed how they viewed money. “I was diagnosed with cancer 10 years ago,” one person shared. “That will prioritize living in the now real quick.”
Setting A ‘Fun Budget’ Helped Many Break The Cycle
Many Redditors recommended building a specific “fun money” line into the budget. Whether it was $50 or $200 a month, knowing that the money was set aside for guilt-free enjoyment helped shift their mindset. “This is a free purchase because the money is already gone,” one person said of their mental trick.
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Some even rolled over unused fun money month to month, building up a guilt-free spending pool that could go toward something big, or just be a reminder that it was okay to enjoy life.
A Financial Planner Can Help You Rebalance Your Relationship With Money
When your savings habits start working against your peace of mind, a little guidance can go a long way. Domain Money connects you with certified financial planners who specialize in helping high-earning households plan with purpose and not just build spreadsheets.
For people earning $100,000 or more who have the savings piece figured out, the next step might be learning how to spend with confidence. As one commenter put it, “Build the life you want and then save for it.”
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This article When Saving Becomes An Obsession, Small Purchases Feel Like A Personal Failure. 'It's Hurting To Spend $20 On Myself' originally appeared on Benzinga.com
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